"Do you think there is anything funnier than the media?" - Ramu

Yet another volley of questions. Yet another round of witty replies from Ramu. Read on:

1. This excuse of making films only to enjoy the process sounds irresponsible.

Ans: You got me wrong. I am not making an excuse, I am saying that it is the only choice any filmmaker has whether he realizes it or not. Every one of the makers of the 120 or so films made in Bollywood every year think that they are making a film which will be a big hit. No one in the right mind will go ahead and make a film aiming it to be an average or a flop film. 95% of them will not reach their intended objective. When the audience sees the final film they imagine it has been done with carelessness and a non-thinking attitude but that would never be the case. A viewer is spending a couple of hours and around Rs.100- to buy a ticket. A maker is spending a year or more and crores of Rupees. He would never be irresponsible because he has much much more to loose than the viewer. It happens because it is an extremely difficult thing to match the mind-state of the Director, where he started from and the mind-state of the viewer when he enters the theatre. It is too complex and too long drawn out for me to explain here.

2. You yourself have raised your bar and that's the burden you carry.
Ans: Maybe you are right but that is also the reason I became what I am.

3. I don't want to read articles posted by fakes like you.
Ans: Ok.

4. I request you to use all your witty humour in the media movie.
Ans: Of course. Do you think there is anything funnier than the media?

5. I think you source your actors from theatre. Mohanlal is known, Chakri and the Contract guy are Telugu actors. Phoonk guy is a Kannada actor. I won't even get into how you get your heroines. Did you select Fardeen Khan because he gave you money?
Ans: Yes sir, Yes sir, Yes sir, you are absolutely right about what all you wish to be right.

6. You spelt Nietzsche wrong.
Ands: That was a typing error. Thanks for the lesson anyway! Where do I send the cheque?

7. Why are you an atheist?
Ands: Because I can go ahead and commit as many sins as I want without getting scared.

8. Stick to making movies. Sexist jokes don't make good comedy.
Ands: Ok, Ma'm.

9. Only if a Government committee regulates the sensationalisation of news the media scene will improve.
Ans: I disagree. If it's regulated by a Govt body it will just breed corruption and censorship which will make the situation worse. At least now the least the media is doing is to entertain us. A Government body will destroy that too.

10. I think most celebrities have found solace with internet blogs.
Ans: Definitely. At least there's one place where they can communicate to whoever is interested or concerned without being edited, quoted out of context or lines being highlighted which were not meant to be etc.

11. Seems like you have very good material for the media film. Please don't screw it.
Ans: I won't screw it. I will f** it.

12. Invest in a good screenplay, good writer, good cinematographer and a good music director.
Ans: Please don't give away such brilliant strokes of advice for free.

13. Stop manipulating things.
Ans: Ok, Your honour.

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