New Definitions

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. Dictionary : A place where success comes before work. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Divorce : Future tense of marriage. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes. Father: A banker provided by nature. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power... Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.