Hum Hai Raahi Car Ke Movie Reviews

There is no reason for 'Hum Hai Raahi Car Ke' to exist except that producer-director Jyotin Goel’s son, Dev Goel, is now of kissable age and has acquired muscles — feats that daddy dear thinks deserve a public audience.

I recall certain summer days in our colony when Brahmin boys from South Indian families would have their elaborate janeu ceremony. Tents would be erected, trucks would arrive in reverse-gear and unload humongous cauldrons and fresh banana leaves. Father and panditji would sit around a fire, one uttering mantras, the other obeying orders. Little boy, sitting in mommy’s lap, would be restless, fearing the steel shaving knife in view. All the guests would be sweating but would stay put for two reasons: rising steam from the big pateelas of payasam in the kitchen area, and to see how much the boy would cry when head shaving commenced, just so they could reminisce about how much their boy had cried at his mundan.

And so it is in Bollywood, with slight differences here and there. Daddyji must pay for betaji’s Bollywood janeu ceremony, invite friends, family, neighbours and patrons, and in their presence put the janeu around betaji. Then on, beta is supposed to be on his own. Most are, barring a few Jackky Bhagnanis and, I suppose, Dev Goel.

Goel Junior is going to need another janeu ceremony, if daddyji’s company and nerves survive this shindig.

'Hum Hai Raahi Car Ke' has been written by daddyji and betaji. And as is the nature of most such adventures, this one too goes hither-thither.

Shammi Suri (Dev Goel) and Priyanka Lalwani (Adah Sharma) are chaddi-buddies and next door neighbours in a high-rise building. Neither has a life and neither seems particularly keen to get one. Shammi is an IIT dropout (LOL), despite which he is a computer genius (ROFL). While sitting at home on soiled, smelly undies, he hacks into the computer systems of banks and releases a virus. His intention is not to rob these banks, but to mock IIT’s Prof. Ganguly (Anupam Kher) whose secret code protects all banking computer systems. Shammi’s virus arrives in the shape on an animated monkey, which drops its chaddis and wriggles its behind for Prof. Ganguly’s benefit. This makes Shammi very jolly because he hates his day job and his employer, one Mr Chotia (Chunky Pandey), who wants him to work on New Year’s eve.

Priyanka (Adah Sharma) knows who the hacker is, but she’s not one to talk. Priyanka has the hots for a guy in her building but can’t even utter “hello”. She works for Medical Mantra, a call centre dedicated to answering all medical emergency queries. Her creepy supervisor exploits her and now wants her to work on New Year’s Eve. Life gives Priyanka many reasons and occasions to speak up, but she doesn’t. Or can’t. Or whatever.

Shammi and Priyanka hang-out together — they eat, chat and often end up watching 'Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam', Priyanka’s favourite film. But it’s New Year’s Eve, and they want to break life’s dreary circle. So they decide to ditch work and drive to Pune, to party and attend a wedding.

Shammi, who is driving Priyanka’s car, opts for a sunasan route to Pune which subjects us to many atrocities: a susu jugalbandi with a gorilla, which leads to a costume party for a song and dance routine and an encounter with Rocky, a semi-finalist of Rakhi Sawant’s swayamvar who is creepy and keen on Priyanka.

This somehow leads them to a hotel, a khukri-wielding guard and women in their undergarments. This results in a prickly assault on Rocky’s tender behind, which leads them to a hospital where a paan-spewing surgeon (played with significant exaggeration by Juhi Chawla) and her nurse brings some levity.

Throughout their journey the car ke raahi keep bumping into various avatars of Chunky Pandey and one Suresh Almadi (Amit Mistry), a barely veiled Suresh Kalmadi who keeps talking about commonwealth while being generally obnoxious till some daku-lootere politicians fix him.

Eventually, Priyanka and Shammi land with Inspector Karan Karate (Sanjay Dutt), in a chemical factory where Shammi saves a man. Kissing ensues soon after.

'Hum Hai Raahi Car Ke' is not evil, it’s just daft and pointless beyond reason. This insufferable act of narcissism is financed and directed by Jyotin Goel whose only other film I recall with some affection is 'Bird Idol', a sweet, small animation film that released in 2010.

Dev Goel thinks acting is all about exercising facial muscles — for every syllable that he utters and every expression he’s supposed to pull, he presses all his face muscles into service. His eyes enlarge, eyebrows drop and rise, nose squirms, mouth twists and twitches. And since he is in gym mode, his shoulders jerk, arms flail and hands with really long fingers make gestures. It’s like a virus gone berserk.