Miss you Daddy

Jokes

The Bat Bet

Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood.The first bat…

The Ant

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?A. Because he was pissed off!

THE ANSWER

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look…

Dog Property Rules

1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4.…

Installing a Carpet

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.In the…

Horses at the Race

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you…

Bear & Rabbit

The bear looks at the rabbit and says,"Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"The rabbits says,"No..."So the bear wipes his…

Baskin Robbins

Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking by.The kitten complained, "Mama, I'm sooo…

Bad Heart

Q: What do you do when a pig has a heartatack?A: You call an hambulance!

Bad dog

Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!

Animal Sounds

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does…

An Elephant Never Forgets

A man recently bought a bull elephant for 50 grand. He decided to make big bucks out of the elephant. He trained the elephant not to…

A Cat's Diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat…

Trying To Fly

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his…

The Blonde And The Cute Sheep

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.A few days later,…