Jokes

My Father The Whorehouse Piano Player

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a…

The Invention Of The Copper Wire

Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two lawyers fighting over a penny.

Lawyers Word Processor

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

What Do You Call?

What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?A total waste of space!

The First Witness

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs.…

One Way Trip to Mars

NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a…

The Bear

A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year at his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to…

No Bull

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which…

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling…

Match Made in Heaven

A young couple were driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love and due to be married the next day. Suddenly, a large truck…

Reading of the Will

The relatives of the family's rich dowager gathered for the reading of her willafter her long awaited death.“Being of sound mind,” read the lawyer,…

An American attorney in Italy

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true…

Two lawyers are in a bank

Two lawyers are in a bank, when armed robbers suddenly burst in. While severalof the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the…

Theological debate

The thoroughly secular young attorney and the philosopher were engaged in fierce theological debate: "Heaven and hell, you will agree, may very well be separated by…

Fair Settlement

After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported tohis client.“Mrs. LaMay, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband…