Jokes

Armless man

A man walks into the bathroom and sees another guy standing at the urinal with no arms. the guy goes, "man, u really gotta help me…

Are You Sure

Drinking A completely inebriated man was stumbling downthe street with one foot on the curb and one foot in thegutter.A cop pulled up…

An American In Jamaica

A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis, her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was…

Advanced Newborn

A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor."Are you my doctor?"…

A Night Out At The Strip Joint

Dave works hard at the plant, puts in a lot of overtime, and then spends most evenings bowling, playing basketball or working out at the gym.…

A Good Cold

After a long day at the office the woman sat back in her seat on the train and waited for it to pull out of the…

A Few Q And As

Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?A. Slow down and use a lubricant.Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and…

90 Year Old Wanker

What do you call a 90-year-old man who can still masturbate?Miracle whip!

Candy Dispenser

While I was visiting my sister one evening, I took out a candy dispenser that was shaped like a miniature person. "How does that thing work?"…

Changing a Light Bulb

Q. How many men does it take to change a light bulb?A. One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to…

Dog's life

My wife agrees that I do indeed lead a "dog's life".The way she puts it though is: "He comes in with muddy feet, makes himself…

Glad I'm A Man

1. We know stuff about tanks2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase3. We can open all our own jars4. We can go…

Men are like

Men are like.....Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.Men…

When a Man Decides To Marry

When a man decides to marry, it may be the last decision he'll ever make.Some men who speak with authority at work know enough to…

Why do men like blonde jokes?

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?A: Because they can understand them.