Jokes

Learn a new word each day

Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.Baloney buh-lo'-nee: Where some hemlines fall.Bernadette…

New Definitions

Atom Bomb :An invention to end all inventions.Boss :Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.Cigarette…

Definitions for Parents

Definitions for ParentsFEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the mashed carrots.HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.PRENATAL:…

10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a…

Male or Female

From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a…

Funny Product Names

Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissuesKolic - Japanese mineral waterCreap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee CreamerSwine - Chinese chocolatesLibido - Chinese soda…

Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans

1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings.3. Join our frequent near-miss program.…

Funny Menu

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.Cold…

Newly issued alcohol warnings

Newly issued alcohol warningsThe Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the…

Funny Newspaper Bloopers

Here are a few genuine news bloopers gleaned from American newspapers. These were taken from an article by Richard Lederer, author of "Anguished English".On behalf…

The 25 Best Newspaper Headlines of 1999

The 25 Best Newspaper Headlines of 19991. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say2. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies3. Police Begin…

Church Bulletin Humor

The following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and…

In Order Of Stupidity

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.On a Sears…

Actual Headlines

Actual headlines collected from local, national, and international newspapers that are rather ambiguous. It is clear what the writer was trying to say, but in each…

L.A. Math Test

1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by…