Jokes
Captain Hook
How did Captain Hook Die?He wiped his arse with the wrong hand!Cleaner version for the kids: He wiped his nose with the wrong hand!
Dumb Hunters
Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck.…
3 Criminals in the Sahara
There were these 3 criminals who had just robbed a bank in Egypt. They were caught, convicted, and sentenced to exile in the Sahara Desert and…
An insurance company
Form FeedInsurance form question and answer about a recent accident:Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: I could have…
Welfare Applications
For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual…
An Inscription Problem
According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been…
Mariah Carey's Quote
Mariah Carey was one of the first celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present…
Technology Problems
One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation,…
Stupid People Fearing
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a…
Little Johnny In Church
One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered…
Comeback Line
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion Of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and…
How Much Is A Billion?
The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" casually think about whether you do, or don't, want that politician spending your tax money!!…
A Woman In A Hot
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,…
What's The Difference Between a Democrat
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.Q: What's the difference…