Jokes
The Bat Bet
Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood.The first bat…
THE ANSWER
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look…
Dog Property Rules
1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4.…
Installing a Carpet
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.In the…
Horses at the Race
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you…
Bear & Rabbit
The bear looks at the rabbit and says,"Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"The rabbits says,"No..."So the bear wipes his…
Baskin Robbins
Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking by.The kitten complained, "Mama, I'm sooo…
Animal Sounds
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does…
An Elephant Never Forgets
A man recently bought a bull elephant for 50 grand. He decided to make big bucks out of the elephant. He trained the elephant not to…
A Cat's Diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat…
Trying To Fly
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his…
The Blonde And The Cute Sheep
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.A few days later,…