Jokes
Duck walks into a feed
A duck walks into a feed store and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''The clerk tells him, ''No, we don't have a market for it it…
Kangaroo Fence
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He…
Looking to buy a frog?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The…
Hit a sparrow
A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still…
The Talking Dog
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport,"…
The Pessimist
Friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found…
On The Run From A Bear
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.The bear…
Anthill Golfing
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave…
Thirty-thousand Cockroaches
A housewife called up a pet store and said, "Send me thirty-thousand cockroaches at once.""What in the world do you want with thirty-thousand cockroaches?" asked…
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Musical Hamster
A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it."…
Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following:"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must…
A circus owner walked into a bar
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot…