A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.The taxi arrived, and as the couple…

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife.The store manager tells him he has…

A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you…

This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing: 'Hi, we're…

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.…

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told…

One day an out of work mime was visiting the zoo, where he attempted to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as…

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?Big holes all over Australia!

One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed."The man replied, "This is…

Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?Because it was an early bird!

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?Soak it in petrol and set it on fire.

So there were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.The first cow said,"I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They…

Why do elephants paint their feet yellow?To hide upside down in bowls of custardHave you ever seen an elephant upside down in your custard?…

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.Rottweiler:…

While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.A passerby commented to the…