Jokes
Paying in advance
A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf…
Equation of earnings
The EquationEngineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that explains why this…
How you made money
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it…
Repairing the phone
A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out…
Who can say this sentence?
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and…
Installing a Carpet
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.In the…
The homework schedule
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should…
A lecture about English
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such…
A bribe for your professor
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to…
History paper research on the Internet
Man: "How's your history paper coming?"Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful.Man: "Really?"…
I will do anything to pass
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this…
Why must we learn this?
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"…
Discussing Grades
A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed."What's the matter, son," asked his mother."Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my marks. They're…
Sweep the Floor
Your first job will be to sweep the floor.But I'm a college student the young man replied.In that case give me the broom -…
How have times changed?
In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!